Ah, this life

This week, I have come face to face with what it might mean to have a complicated relationship with this chosen life. No, I'm not in one, alas, but I started to think about what it would mean, especially if it ended up being with someone who is also in this crazy music business.

Some people, hands-down, prefer to be with someone in the biz, because as a couple, you can understand each other just a little bit more easily. Others prefer completely the opposite, simply to have something refreshing that is a break from music, and to have one person who at least has a semblance of a normal life. While I know that these descriptions are only a snippet of the big picture, they provide at least an idea.

I used to believe that I would never, ever want to be with a singer (with the possible exception of my first long-term relationship). Singers are self-centered, too much like me, too much this, that and the other. Maybe another musician - an instrumentalist, a conductor, something artistic. But even then, dating other musicians is too difficult. You may have schedules that make it impossible to ever see each other, you spend too much time having a relationship via phone. So, as a result, I dated almost exclusively non-musicians, but at least people who had some artistic inclination. This didn't seem to work...I often felt like the singing was a novelty and there was never any real understanding. My perspective is, needless to say, changing.

This week, when I was faced with this dichotomy again, I realized that it really didn't matter at all. You like who you like and if you end up having to deal with difficult circumstances, then what do you do? Do you take risks? Or do you back away and take the easy road?
In the past, I believe I may have backed off. Now, for some reason, I'm willing to take risks, even if it is with another musician. Is it because I'm not getting any younger? I hope that's not the reason. I would hope (and I think) it is more that I've been so used to taking risks over the past three years of being in NYC, that I'm now ready to take them in a relationship. I'm tired of bull and pussy-footing. I'm ready for something real, something risky, something that won't necessarily be easy. Now all I have to do is hope that when it happens, I can balance it with my career, work and life. Isn't that the ultimate question? I'm convinced it can be done, so wish me luck.