An introduction of sorts

I am going to start this off by copying a few of my past posts on my Myspace music site. They act as a good introduction to who I am and what I have been going through throughout the beginning of this year. Much of what I was feeling earlier this month still holds true for today. I am continuing to focus, focus, focus on my day job and my singing, which is a difficult balance, but must be done.

May 3, 2007 I am procrastinating today, from my day job. I am getting music work done, which is nice for a change. I have decided that for now, the focus should be on my career. The boy is over and I no longer have the distraction, which is a good thing right now. I don't need it, except for maybe the sexual needs part. I don't need the indecision, the emotional back and forth, the not getting enough sleep. I definitely don't need that. I know I may sound cynical, but it's the way I choose to be if I am going to make anything of this career. I am not a young artist any longer and I have taken time off, so I have many strikes against me already. If I am going to be successful, I must focus and I must tell that to myself everyday. Things are going well for now and I have the entire summer to focus all my energy into this one important thing (as long as I can keep myself financially afloat with 3 jobs!) With all my spare time, I will focus, focus, focus. It can be done and it will be done! Let's just hope I can stick with this. Wish me luck!

April 15, 2007
Well, my string of choral gigs and church (Holy Hell Week, etc) is over for a couple weeks. It's nice to be able to breathe and focus on my own work. More auditions this week - I'm still in the frustrating state of doing more choral work than I like and not getting enough solo gigs, but I constantly remind myself that I've only been here 2 years (as of today, in fact) and I've got a lot more auditions to go on before something actually happens. Ugh! Unfortunately, not being busy also allows me to think too much about relationship issues and the boy that can't make up his mind. Is it so difficult to make a decision? Choose me, pick me...these are the thoughts I am sending him, but I cannot push too hard. He feels right and I must allow it time to breathe. Ah yes, this leaves more time to focus on my career which right now, is most important. It has been difficult lately to think about the future...sometimes, I just want to make it simple, but I want to sing more. And I want someone with me. And I want children with me someday, maybe. Is it wrong to want everything? Sometimes I feel as if it won't happen, but I need to stay positive.